Whilst thinking of things to go on this website and filling up nicely, I decided that, rather than writing a biography (which is extremely hard to do without sounding like an utter arse), I’d ask my beloved friend on Facebook for a three word review. There were a few genuine responses, but the rest were fairly comical. So I decided to use them all. And then comment on them.

“Super, Smashing, Great!” – Sam Pirt
A lovely compliment from a lovely man.

“Stoke folk bloke!” – John Warbuton
I am from Stoke, I do play folk, and I am (hopefully) a bloke. 10/10.

“Friend of Greg” – James Blatchley
I did wonder how long it would be before Greg was referenced. Too soon.

“Not an arse” – Mark Woolley
What I should tell myself every morning when I wake up.

“Complete utter arse” – Ciaran Algar
What I actually tell myself every morning when I wake up.

“Could be worse” – Albert Joynson
Not quite the self-affirmation I was hoping for but I’ll take it.

“Really likes cheese” – Michael Burns
“Cheesy joke man” – Roger Williams
“Quality cheese banter” – Leah Morgan
I eventually stopped using the references to cheese jokes, because there were just far too many. It’s nice to know that people remember me for my music.

“Fiddles around frequently” – Joe Taylor
I think that this was supposed to sound rude. It succeeded.

“Tongue bleeds easily” – Kevin Dempsey
Not many people have ended up in hospital twice because they bit their tongue. Once on a salted peanut, and once on a McDonalds chip. It’s a serious condition.

“Tall, smart, good” – Kip Winter
Simple and sweet. And I completely agree with the sentiment.

“Cries at Friends” – Ant Miles
True. She got off the plane!

“Passionate, dedicated, affable” – John Brindley
A genuinely lovely compliment from a fantastic guy. Thanks for being one of the only people who stuck to the guidelines, John!

“Rather tall chap” – Nick Barber
At 6”4, I’d tend to agree.

“Wishes was Greg” – Edd Cooke
This doesn’t even deserve a comment.

“Plays mean fiddle!” – Hazel Richings
Finally, a musical reference. 17 quotes in.

“Just gets taller” – Geoff Noble
Puberty is a wonderful thing.

“Canny on stage” – Martin Whitley
I don’t know, can I? I think that was really funny. It probably wasn’t.

“Plays the fiddle” – Chris Giles
A slightly less complimentary musical reference, but a musical reference nonetheless. 100% true, too.

“Probably a human” – Luke Barker

“Not bad, really” – Riccardo Stone
Cheers again.

“Seth Lakeman tribute” – Gary Smith
There’s probably more money in that than just being Ciaran Algar…

After this experience, I decided to write my own biography: HERE.